Fixing A Broken Relationship

Marika Cobbold: DROWNING ROSE

Her last book, Aphrodite’s Workshop for Reluctant Lovers, saw the goddess of love intervening in human affairs via relationship counselling, while in this new book the reader really wishes some mighty force would intercede to help poor Eliza Cummings recover from the paralysing guilt she feels over the death of her best friend, Rose, who drowned after a school party.

Instead of fulfilling her potential as an artist, quirky little Eliza has turned her life into a penance. She restores ceramics at the V&A, fixing beautiful broken things with love and humility, even as her marriage shatters. But when Rose’s father - a man who has been unable to stand the sight of Eliza since his daughter’s death - calls and invites her to visit him in Sweden she is forced to remember the seemingly inconsequential events that led to tragedy.

Her story runs parallel to that of a bitter, dying soap actress, who had good reason to hate both Rose and Eliza as schoolgirls.

Characteristically, Cobbold handles profound and delicate themes with a ceramicist’s lightness of touch.

Relationships | We Repaired Our Broken Relationship!

We Repaired Our Broken Relationship!

Aaron works long hours and Maggie doesn’t believe that he is there for her. Maggie spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Aaron feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Can this relationship be saved? Does this sound familiar? Well read on, I want to hear you say, “We repaired our broken relationship!”

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work. If a partner has checked out in his mind, there is little that can be done, unless he is willing to try.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving. You both have to want it.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups. In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both expressing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns. Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Stop for a minute and say to yourself; “We repaired our Broken Relationship!” THINK POSITIVE!

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