Bumping And Grinding

Jerry's Ink: Bumping And Grinding My Way Through Adolescence

When I was a 16-year-old virgin on a date, every girl was protected by crinolines, a stiff fabric made of horsehair to form a petticoat with wire hoops to expand a skirt. At the end of the night, if you even attempted a good-night kiss, the crinolines your date wore pushed out her skirt so far you could have been in another postal zone.

A few years ago my wife, the beautiful Judy Licht, and I were riding in a car with our friends Ed and Julie, coming back from Judy and Julie’s Connecticut College for Women reunion. Judy takes these reunions and her early schooling seriously. Hell, she still has her Midwood High School Cheerleader jacket hanging in her closet.

In the car on the way home I plugged in my iPod and played the rock-and-roll music I grew up with in high school. The songs I played were “Earth Angel” by the Penguins, “Sincerely” by the Moonglows, “Pledging My Love” by Johnny Ace. Then the song “Dedicated To The One I Love” by The Shirelles came on and both Judy and Julie agreed it was one of “those” songs.

“What does ‘those’ songs mean?” I asked.

“You know,” they answered, “like Mindy Carson singing the dance that was called ‘The Fish.’”

Then Judy said, “God, wasn’t that awful the way boys used those songs to grind themselves into you? They would bump and grind into you as hard as they could.”

At the mention of the song “The Fish” I got so excited that I twitched and the car swerved into another lane.

Now I can’t dance to save my life. I am the worst dancer in the world. I came from a long line of awkward clumsy dancers. My mother and father attempting to dance at my wedding looked like an event at the handicapped Olympics.

But I must say I was like Fred Astaire when it came to doing “The Fish.” I would bump, I would grind, I would work myself into a red-faced perspiring frenzy doing “The Fish.”

Suddenly I went back a million years and I was 15 years old dancing with Sandy (last name withheld) and her friends in the basement of her house on West 5th Street. Nothing ever really happened and for all I know Sandy and her friends are all still virgins today.

“The Fish” was put on a 45 rpm record player and something was pressed that would make the song play over and over. The beautiful, poignant words are forever locked in my brain:

“THE FISH”

Is it a salmon that comes in a can? / (Chorus) No no no no no. / Is it a flounder that you fry in a pan? / No no no no no. / What is this new dance? I’m asking you man. / They call it The Fish. / Roll a little left foot 1…2…3… / Rock little right foot, bend your knee. / Use the ocean motion. / Calm and cool. / Rock and Roll your baby that’s the only rule.

Cahaba Cycles Blog: Bumping and Grinding

Sydney entered the world at 10am on Thursday June 2. Fortunately we had great support from our parents over the next few days in the hospital. I ended up spending the nights and mornings in the hospital and loosening up or racing in the afternoons. It's all a blur now, but getting away and riding for a few hours each day definitely helped keep us all from overwhelming each other. Once again, BUMP put on an amazing Bump and Grind Mountain bike race weekend. I can't help to think how lucky I am to have the biggest XC race in the Southeast right in my own town. BUMP added the Super D to the events this year, and it consisted of about 70% downhill and 30% climbing. I focused on minimizing braking, holding the quickest lines through the single-track, and hammering the short climbing sections. In the end, I managed to take the win by over a minute on the 4.5 mile course. It certainly helped that I've been riding the course on a regular basis for the last 4 years, but I also give credit to my Trek Superfly 100. Compared to the hardtail that I normally ride, the full suspension felt like I was cheating on the fast and rough downhill sections. The Super D was a reminder of the high adrenaline downhills that made me fall in love with mountain biking as a kid. The weekend of racing ended with the XC race on Sunday. With near 100 degree temperatures, and over 31 miles of trail, it was more about energy management than anything else. I had to dial my pace back on the climbs to keep from overheating. Fortunately, I was able to make up for it by staying focused and railing the twisty single-track with few mistakes. In the end, this strategy worked to hold on for the race win. It was a truly memorable weekend!

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